Thursday, March 3
Forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us.
I once took a course on treating psychological trauma in the lives of children and adolescents. Grounded in principals of attachment and neurobiology, we practiced many skills designed to help our bodies quiet the stress response- a task that can be really difficult to accomplish for folks struggling with the effects of trauma. We blew bubbles, made art, did yoga, and played with silly putty.
While I use many of those skills in my work today, the teacher’s insistence on the power of teaching children how to ask for forgiveness sticks with me the most. She explained that when she makes mistakes her inner critic usually says something like, “Gosh, I really messed up”. For many, unfortunately, mistakes are met with thoughts like, “Gosh, I’m really messed up”.
The difference is subtle, but important. The latter reflects an internalized shame that too often leads to the pain feeling disconnected. She highlighted that teaching young people to ask for forgiveness is less about the words they use and more about reinforcing the belief that they are capable and worthy of being in close relationship with others- even when we make mistakes.
God, thank you for loving us even despite our flaws Help us to know that we can be in close relationship with others, and with You, even when we make mistakes.
–Brandon Jones